One of the Only

Word confusion on the cover of Parade Magazine.

   It's the cover story; an article about Natalie Randolph, the football coach at Coolidge High School in Washington, D. C. The article is assumed to be of interest to Parade readers because there aren't a lot of female football coaches. And it is an interesting article, and Coach Randolph is quite a person.

   But I couldn't help but get tickled at the subhead on the cover. After the heading, "A League of Her Own," the subhead reads "At Coolidge High School in Washington, D.C., Natalie Randolph is making history—as one of the nation's only female football coaches."

   Read it again. According to the editor of this edition, Coach Randolph stands out not because she is female, but she is an only female football coach. This is to be contrasted with what I assume are partially female, or even mostly female coaches, which evidently are more numerous, or at least less unusual.

   Of course, the correct description (which is used in the inside article) is "one of the nation's few female football coaches." It's comforting to know that even the big boys (or girls) miss one every now and then.

—Wayne S.

How many hens can you feed with one vegetarian?

On the carton of a well-known brand of "healthy" eggs is this curious statement:

Am I the only one that finds the phrase confusing? As written, the marketing tag could mean one of two things:

1. The hens are only fed by vegetarians. I assume when someone applies to work at one of their farms, this company has a line on the application which asks, "Do you eat meat?" If you are likely to do so, you will be forbidden from feeding the chickens.

2. The hens are fed actual vegetarians. Well, that is what it says. Presumably the vegetarians are prepared in some sort of way that is palatable. I'm sure PETA would find some sort of schadenfreude in that, although they would no doubt prefer that the hens be fed carnivores.

If the latter is true, it brings up an interesting question: How many hens can you feed with one vegetarian?

—Wayne S.

What?

The company is selling a security product that will protect you from someone stealing the RFID (Radio Frequency Identification) from items like cell phones and laptop computers. But if you stare at it long enough, it gets creepy, or funny. Mobile prostate exams?

Tact

Some have it. Some don't. At a church cemetery near my home.

Click photo to enlarge.